OMG Stig, sounds like you’ve had the same sort of parenting challenges to face as we have! How ours have all reached adulthood in one piece is itself a miracle!
I asked, "where was your brother?!" (10 yrs old)
He was curled up in the back seat, crying.
They were in their 20's before I learned of this.
I came home one day and they'd made a ramp and were jumping their bikes over it.
I got out of the car and asked, "Where's Katie?" (the 6 yr old)
They pointed, and I saw her sneakers sticking out from under the plywood ramp.
Stig