Funny exchange tower to pilot..

[Stig / Major Tom]

Pilot, "which way would you like us to face?"
Tower, "face forward sir. If you're facing your passengers, and try to fly the plane they'll get scared!""

actual recording...
Stig

[Neil955i]

Here's another, allegedly true!

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
.
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
.
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
.
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
.
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
.
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

[Neil955i]

Or this one for Karl:

The story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

[CROSSBOLT]

Or this one for Karl:

The story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Ah, yes! How with 8 engines does one even know one is missing! Har, har!

I actually had to shut down and STOP rotation of the one and only single engine that had just been totally top-end replaced due to failing oil pressure. This required a 25 mile glide to land at San Jose International in the wee hours...before all the parked airliners woke up and wanted to leave. The airplane, a Cessna 185, is still operational as am I. Controllers were stunned that the engine had been shut down.

[klaviator]

Or this one for Karl:

The story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

We used to call the C-130 a "Lockheed tri motor with a spare" because 3 engine landings were so common.  It wasn't the engines that gave us problems, it was the props.  When a prop malfunctioned you had to shut down the engine.  I remember having to shut down an engine over the middle of the Mediterranean.  We continued on a couple of hours to Rota, Spain before landing.  With a twin engine plane we would have landed at the closest practical airport.

[klaviator]

Since we are talking about airplanes, here's my favorite C-130 pic.

[Stig / Major Tom]

Love it!
Good stuff you guys!
My dad was a navigator in WWII.
His squadron had a reunion dinner held in the evening at the United States Air Force Museum, in Dayton - catered by the Bob Hope Hotel, Wright Patterson Field.
Kath and I were invited guests.
We sat at large round table with all of his surviving bomber crewmembers, surrounded by WWII airplanes.
His pilot was a character - told hilarious stories as they looked around at some of the planes they had flown.
Looking at my wife - "Missy, your FIL was the best damn nav I ever flew with!"
And....to the others
"Remember "old shakey" over there, pointing......etc.

One story involved my dad working with a new navigator just over from the States. (I was going to say "young". But they were all young!) They flew a mission over Europe, at night of course ("dumb idea" they all agreed) out of England. The new navigator was having some troubles. (I think it was on the return flight to England) At some point the frustrated pilot asked the new navigator if he could see the moon.
"Yes, Sir,  it's out the left window."
Pilot, "well....30 mins ago it was off my right wing. Max, please take over ...."

It was a pretty special evening with those old guys!

Stig

[Stig / Major Tom]

Since we are talking about airplanes, here's my favorite C-130 pic.

I flew twice in something like that in Vietnam. Honestly don't recall if it had 4 engines, or two. It was COLD & NOISY!!
The second time was....well, I caught a ride in the middle of the night back to Da Nang (or Qui Nhon?) from Phu Bai with the graves registration boys. Carrying the daily toll in body bags, and boxes.

So cold....one plane was missing one of those round windows - I remember that. Was ever so glad to get back down in the miserable heat!

Stig