joke of the day

[blue]

Four married guys go salmon fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 4:30 am. When it went off, I shut it off, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or sex?" She said, "Wear a sweater"

[courior]

Nice 1

[Carol]

  I personally would have gotten up BEFORE his alarm woke him, had a hot breakfast cooking, a wonderful basket lunch packed and ready for him,  his sweater waiting for him to put on...........only because I look forward to a weekend all to myself, to do what I want to do sometimes.    Love ya hunny, have a great weekend of fishing!........hahaha....just leave the bank card on the counter in the kitchen!

[Rianna]

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof.

As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."

The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."

[blue]

  I personally would have gotten up BEFORE his alarm woke him, had a hot breakfast cooking, a wonderful basket lunch packed and ready for him,  his sweater waiting for him to put on...........only because I look forward to a weekend all to myself, to do what I want to do sometimes.    Love ya hunny, have a great weekend of fishing!........hahaha....just leave the bank card on the counter in the kitchen!

lol hell no the bank card stays with me. when I seen you wear going to have his sweater for him I was thinking you are going fishing with him.

[oswaldters]

For all our deer hunters:

A couple of deer hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

... There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"

[blue]

  oooooooooo my god that crazy. but funny.

[oswaldters]

Knew you'd like that one blue!

[Rianna]

Yeah, that unexpected ending got me too! Who's got the joke today?

[grantourismo]

Yeah, that unexpected ending got me too! Who's got the joke today?

I give you one more joke , one day I was doing my laundry noticed a strange "ping ping ping " noise from my washing machine I didnt pay much attention walked back to my room. As I sit down on my bed I couldnt see my alarm clock on the small table in my room , Sudden I realized that last night the alarm clock ticking noise kept me awake so I used a jacket to cover it so the ticking noise wouldnt be heard, and then the jacket I just put it into the washing machine !!!
I jumped up rush to the machine open the lid , my alarm clock was swimming inside , rest in peace clocky  

[blue]

that sounds like something I would reay do.

[Rianna]

Aww, that poor alarm clock was sending out an S.O.S. ping...

[courior]

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it while it's running."

 

[blue]

and the moral or the story is dont ever have a machanic work on your heart........OUCH

[oswaldters]

or a surgeon work on your scooter...