Thanks for all the help guys. I Just whish my wife would see things my way. Dont think she ever well...
man and wife should stick together on everything in the house. and kids........
Every fa,ily has one or two so don't feel like your alone in this. If your wife won't back you that's part of the problem, he knows she is the soft one and plays on that. I'll tell you what my brother did with his kid when he found himself in a spot much like you.
First you need to be ready to lose your wife or know just how far she's willing to be pushed, once you think you know this you can take as much action as you feel comfortable with, but be ready for a fight. Also you need to know if this "son" will try and inflict harm to you once you take action, people that take drugs are dangerous (not saying he is taking).
You go into his room while he's out and remove every item you or your wife paid for, bed, matterss, furniture, clothes, light bulb, turn the heat off and remove the knob, remove the door to his room if there's one in place etc. Leave the mirror if there's one there so he can see how stupid and poor he looks. If he breaks anything keep a running bill for him to repay.
When he starts meeting your demands you can allow him to "RENT" back anything you took away, this way you can again remove it if needed.
Tell him, if he gets a job the mattess goes back on the floor, when he pays you an agreed amount of rent he gets other things back. If your wife goes aginst you publicly let her know to never ever go against you in public again, you need to be strong and may have to explain to her why it's important, she should understand. Reverse the situation on her and the light bulb usually lights up.
If she gives you too much greif over it leave and don't come back until the demands are met.
